My first dip into the homoerotic sport of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu began in late 2022. I went for 5 sessions then took a short 2 month break. The first half of 2023 was a period of moderate commitment, about twice a week. Often followed by periods of time off where life brought me in other directions (farming and surfing).
While I was spending my time in ways that I felt were more valuable, a shred of jiu-jitsu guilt plagued me. This will undoubtedly feel familiar to those who’ve tried to take up a new pursuit or build a new habit. I spent 2023 dabbling in BJJ and desperately trying to stay jacked while I navigated my new nomadic way of life and worked my full-time job.
After a two month migration south for the winter, I returned to the UK in February 2024. I was extremely grumpy that I had wasted away to a dainty 75kg and not trained BJJ properly in 5 months (my life is so hard), so I set my nose to the grindstone.
I returned to a consistent lifting routine and jiu-jitsu once a week just to ease back into it. Then brought that that up to 3 times a week by April.
(I’m about to toot my own horn)
By early April, I had achieved the highest level of absolute strength in my life. I made easy work of a 125kg squat (which I would consider heavy for me) for 5 reps and completed my first one arm pull-up at 82kg.
Naturally I was rather pleased with this and began thinking about the next pursuit. It felt silly to keep pushing purely for bigger muscles and barbell strength, as much as I love bigger muscles. How much value would a 130kg squat for 5 reps or 2 one arm pull-ups add to my life?
As a recently promoted two stripe white belt, I turned to my BJJ to provide me with a regular drip of dopamine. Then, like any mentally healthy individual, I decided that it would be a good idea to enter a tournament with less than a month to prepare, as a way to inject some urgency into my training.
Was this a good idea?

My opponents would say yes.
After the sting of losing both my divisions in the first round wore off, I came around to the idea that it was in fact a good use of time. Yes, from one perspective I paid £85 to go and get pinned in side control (and taken down twice) in front of my lovely supportive girlfriend. But from that I learned that a few things:
- The need to develop better wrestling – a basic foundation in wrestling and more stand-up exposure would have served me well.
- The importance of a proper warm up – getting a cramp while being taken down is suboptimal
- The importance of side control escapes – I was not prepared to be pinned in side control for 3 minutes of a 5 minute match. In training, side control is often used as a transient position to transition to mount so not much time is spent training to escape from that.
These lessons would have taken much longer to learn just from sparring in training.
Takeaway #1. A period of focus and imbalance will get you to a level which is easier to maintain. Trying to achieve perfect balance right from the start is much more challenging. It takes less effort to maintain speed than it does to gain it in the first place.
For example, it is much easier to maintain fitness and skill once you have attained a high level in the first place. You can maintain muscle doing 33% of the training volume that you needed to gain it. I’ve felt this to be true in any skill-based pursuit like BJJ or surfing.
For example, while training for the BJJ competition I dialled back the strength training to focus on skill development, while this was the right decision, had I continued this pattern for longer, my muscles would have atrophied and the tendon and ligament strain from BJJ would likely have resulted in injury.
This seems pretty self-explanatory. But I have a tendency to get hopelessly depressed when the gains start slipping away. It’s a reminder to myself to periodise focus and effort in one pursuit and not get too depressed about the rest going down while I’m doing that. Put the rest on maintenance and accept that they might decline slightly (ideally not for too long). You can bring them back up easily when the time is right, as long as you don’t let them drop too far.
It’s worth saying that complimentary activities shouldn’t be neglected for too long. The lack of balance will take a toll on your life.
Takeaway #2. Training for a competition in any pursuit is a good way to force improvement in a short period.
Likewise, neglecting one’s relationships for work is only a good move for a very short period of time. Good relationships will have a restorative effect on your life, in addition to adding a great deal of depth and meaning. Neglecting them for too long feels to me like missing the point of life entirely. Same goes for health.
Takeaway #3. You learn much more from your defeats than you do your wins. A defeat mercilessly exposes you to your weaknesses.
Nothing burns a mistake into your mind like getting pinned in front of your girlfriend. That sucks. But at least I got some humbling videos out of it.
I improved more in BJJ in the month leading up to that competition than from the first time I stepped on the mats up until that point. Perhaps I’ll do another at some point when the time is right. Until then my goal is to slowly improve or at the very least maintain my skill level while I do other things (commune with the land).

